Cheering up elderly- ideas?

[couponhappy]

My mom is elderly (around 75) and depressed. She has no interests, except TV. She lives with my dad. She has no friends or family nearby. She has no interest in computers, internet or anything modern. I do try and visit her a couple of times a month (she lives 1.5 hours away).

Anyone have any ideas to get her interested in life?

So far, I am going to:

1. Order her a subscription of TV guide

2. Spam her with free samples (as she loves getting mail or junk mail)

[valerie]

What is her health like? Does she drive?

I have elderly neighbors living across the street and the woman goes up to the senior center in town every morning to "walk" laps inside the building. She has met some other ladies through that and they do weekly lunches together.

Crossword puzzle books or sodoku puzzles?

Setting up a pen pal?

[MessyT]

I was also wondering if there is a senior center nearby? Does she attend church? If so, there must be some groups for older folks. Does she garden, if so maybe a gardening group. Could she volunteer at a nursing home, visiting with the residents?

Is there a reason that she has no nearby friends? I mean, does she just like to keep to herself or did she move to an area where she doesn't know anyone? I think there is a big difference between not wanting to make friends and just not having met any friends.

What about mall walking?

[couponhappy]

Thanks for the responses.

My mom does not drive or walk anywhere. She complains she has a bad hip. She doesn't garden (anymore). She has a heart condition and he goes to the doctor's office twice a month.
She
She does not have any friends in the area- she's lived in the same home for around 30 years, but never made any effort to make friends with neighbors or coworkers. A senior center would be a good idea- if she wanted to be social. She does not seem to want to meet people.  She barely socializes with myself and my two sisters.

She has never been one to chat on the phone more than 5 minutes. She has no hobbies- except TV (and it's normal TV stations- no cable/ satellite). I do get cut off for TV shows (she does not have a TV DVD recorder). She seems to be addicted to TV. I have noticed this TV addiction in other elderly people.

I think church would be a great idea, but she wouldn't go.

I just don't know what to do. If this was someone younger, I could take them to an amusement park, go out to dinner, go shopping, go to museums. Just seems like she is addicted to TV and very depressed.

[MessyT]

Does she have a pet?

[couponhappy]

We had 3 cats growing up. No pets are allowed now she doesn't want to take care of them. I did give her a mini herb garden in a pot (something to take care of).

The parents eat healthy meals, but have a lot of junk food around.

[wewsrw]

My mil is the same way. She does absolutely nothing all day long. I have never seen anybody do so much of nothing.

She has no interests or friends. Refuses to go to her great grand kids bday parties or travel. Her brother lives in florida. She bitches if her brother and sil visits. Dh visits her a couple times a week. She lives a block away. Our town has a huge senior center and she wont go. She won,t go to the library or even get her mail. She is fairly healthy for an 83 year old.

I refuse to worry about it. Its her choice to sit in the house all day and watch tv. I've invited her to go places plenty of times.  She will even bitch if i buy her a flower for mothers day.  She has to water it.  

[jschwemi]

What about a class at joanns or Michaels? Knitting or scrapbooking? Maybe you would have to go with her to the first one, but she could go later? Some towns have a senior center and a senior bus that will drive you around town. Maybe set it up for her to have the senior bus pick her up and just tell her its coming?

There's lot of free magazine subscriptions out there.

What about sending an email to family/friends saying she's depressed and ask them to send a card/letter. I know two friends that did that for their elderly moms and it was a big success. I sent a card to one of the moms and I had never even met her, but thought it was a neat idea

[jschwemi]

Maybe you could also call a local senior center and explain the situation and see if they have any suggestions?

[smallsaver]

Not sure where you find one but how about a pen pal?

[couponhappy]

Jschwemi, thanks for the class idea. I know she would never go to a class at Joann's by herself, but I could look for a class like knitting that we could both go to. If knitting will cause her to move- that will be great! I always wanted to learn.

The asking of others to send a card/ letter is a good idea.

I am still struggling with how anti-social my mom is. I know she is in a state of depression. I have seen other elderly in this type situation.

So far, I have found some caregiver type classes, but they are during the week and I can't go to them. It was $10 for 17 weeks, think it was daily. (this was in Wisconsin- she lives there). I hope to educate myself with as much stuff as I can.

[couponhappy]

I don't think my mom would want a pen pal- she can't handle being conversational with people being in the room

I wish my mom would want to exercise her mind with soudoku or crossword puzzles!

I wish she would walk one block (or even go outside) and didn't sit in the house all day.

I am going to call the local senior center (near her) and see if they have any suggestions.

All ideas are good! I hope if they don't help her, they can help others who read this post in the future.

Thank you everyone who suggested ideas!!! You all are the best. I will come back to keep posting what I am doing for others in similar type situations.

Oh, I will be looking for those free magazine subscriptions! She loves mail (even junk mail) so I can spam her with those magazines and all the free samples I am finding on Slick Deals.

[Lucky Day]

If she has expressed to you that she is depressed, you could have her talk to her doctor about treatment and diagnosis. It is an actual medical condition and if she is depressed , the doctor can give her ways to help herself. She may actually listen if an authority figure like a doc suggests exercise, clubs, outings, volunteering, or even therapy or meds.

A card shower is nice, but the effects only last so long. It's a terrible burden to be continually responsible for relieving another person's depression. I know you want to help her, and that is so kind of you, but she has to want help and eventually take responsibility for her own happiness.

[couponhappy]

I wish she would admit to being depressed- that would make this easier to deal with. It is hard to watch someone turn into a vegetable in front of your eyes.

If my father wasn't there, I'd have to be the caregiver (she can walk, she can't drive, she can function now) and move back there (as she would never move out of her house).

She would do anything a doctor says. She won't listen to me. So, that is a good idea.

[couponhappy]

I suggested she go out to classes with me, church- everything was a no. I will try sending her a book on CD so she can listen to something other than TV.